


squares, triangles, and other shapes

by demistories



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, a Mess(TM)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-07-18 02:02:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7295023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demistories/pseuds/demistories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ladybug’s lying. Chat’s lying. She knows Chat’s lying. Chat doesn’t know that she’s lying, but there’s an anxiety building in her chest. Her mind is spinning in dizzying circles of “crap crap crap crap crap crap crap.”</p>
<p>
  <i>Marinette is fake dating Chat Noir who is actually Adrien who is fake dating Ladybug who is actually Marinette. And Marinette likes Adrien who is also Chat Noir who likes Ladybug who is also Marinette. Secret identities make fake dating...complicated.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. definitely dating. definitely not lying about it.

**Author's Note:**

> alternate title: the most convoluted fake dating au of all time
> 
> i was lucky enough to hear about [chatuoir's](http://chatuoir.tumblr.com) incredibl(y messy) [double fake dating au](http://sadrien.tumblr.com/post/145943627663/hear-me-out) a month or two ago! we did a lot of screaming about it, which was always fun. anyway, lucia was awesome enough to let me try my hand at it, so here we are.
> 
> this is definitely the most complex thing i've written for the fandom, purely because of all the things that are happening in it. the basics of it aren't exactly..basic. double fake dating in a love square. always fun!! also: rated t because they're teenagers and there's a lot of swearing.
> 
> i've only got the first chapter written, so updates for this fic might be a bit more spaced out! buckle up everyone, this is one hell of a rollercoaster.

Chat kicks his legs over the side of the Tower. It’s been a long patrol of mostly nothing, but it’s rare that much comes up during these anyway. Usually it’s small things like robberies and assholes, almost never anything close to the size of an akuma.

Regardless, it’s nice to hang out with Ladybug outside of akuma fights. When they were first starting out, patrols were mostly quiet and serious, despite his relentless attempts to crack jokes. But now he’s able to drop onto the Eiffel Tower with a greeting of, “Evening, My Lady. You look radiant as the moon tonight,” and she’ll just smile. They’re able to let conversation flow freely or sit in comfortable silence.

Chat adores having this relationship with Ladybug. He’s never had anything like this before. He never wants to lose it.

“…you’re not such a bad guy.”

He blinks. Okay, if he doesn’t want to lose her friendship, he should probably start paying more attention. “Yes,” he says, because that seems like a good response. Yeah, he’s not a bad guy. That’s true.

Ladybug’s eyes widen. “Oh my god, really?”

“Uh… Yes?” Right, so maybe he missed a vital part of this conversation when he was zoning out.

“That’s so cute,” she coos.

“Thank you?”

Ladybug leans forward eagerly. “What’s their name?”

“T-their name?” Chat frantically tries to think of a way to backtrack.

“The person you’re dating! They have a name, _don't they_?” she teases.

Oh _shit_.

“Why do you want to know?” he asks, leaning closer so their noses are nearly touching. Ladybug blinks in surprise. “Jealous of her?”

“N-no!” She jerks back. “I have a boyfriend!”

Chat straightens. “A boyfriend!” he echoes. He wonders if she can hear his heart splinter. “Someone is trying to steal my Lady’s heart from me?”

“Ha ha, cute,” Ladybug scoffs. “What about your girlfriend? Huh?”

His mouth is on autopilot as he frantically tries to fix the shitstorm he's gotten himself into. “I’ll tell you if you tell me.” Wait, no— _fuck._

He’s jealous but he _doesn’t have a girlfriend._

Ladybug blinks. “Oh. Okay.”

Honestly, he didn’t actually think she’d say yes. He scrambles for a name.

“On the count of three?”

Chat finds himself nodding. A girl’s name, any girl’s name.

“One…” they say together.

Wait no it needs to be a girl who actually exists. One that he knows. He has to know her.

“Two…”

One that he actually likes and can…fake date? Shit.

“Three.”

His mind goes blank.

“Adrien.”

“Marinette.”

* * *

“Marinette?!” she gasps, eyes wide.

“Adrien?!” Chat asks at the same time, nearly falling backwards.

They stare at each other for a long moment. Her heart feels like it’s going to explode. Date Chat? First of all: no. Never. Second of all, why would he lie to her? Why would _she_ say Adrien? Why is she the most transparent person on the planet?! Because Chat is lying for _some reason_ and that means she has to keep up the lie and—

Ladybug covers her mouth with her hands to stifle panicked and nervous laughter.

Her and Chat, _dating._

“I’m serious!” Chat shouts, throwing out his arms.

“So am I!” she shoots back. But she’s not. She's so not. Dating? _Adrien_? What if Chat checks?

She’s so screwed.

Chat leans forward and raises his eyebrows. “Guess we both a have a thing for civilians we save, huh?”

Ladybug rolls her eyes and tries to appear calm. “Very funny, Chat.”

“What?” he asks. “She’s cute.”

She’s suddenly very glad that it's dark. She’s pretty sure that if Chat could fully see her face, it’d match the color of her suit. “S-so how long have you been dating Marinette?” Maybe she can keep his attention off of her and Adrien. And she is interested to see how thoroughly he thought this through.

“Not long,” he admits. “But, uh…I’m see her- tonight! After patrol!”

What.

_What?!_

“As Chat Noir?” Ladybug asks innocently.

Chat shrugs. “She wouldn’t like me in civilian form.”

She’s honestly a little bit offended by how honest his tone is. Not like Chat? Never. The honesty makes her heart ache for him.

“And I’d never be brave enough to ask her out as a civilian anyway.”

Huh.

—«·»—

The rest of patrol is…weird. There’s something off about them, and Ladybug can name it.

There’s a reason she hates liars.

Lying about where she is as Ladybug is one thing. It’s necessary for people’s safety, so she can live with it. Lying about dating Adrien? That’s a whole new level. She’s lying. Chat’s lying. She knows Chat’s lying. Chat doesn’t know that she’s lying, but there’s an anxiety building in her chest. Her mind is spinning in dizzying circles of “crap crap crap crap crap crap crap.”

It peaks when her miraculous beep and she leaps to her feet before she does something bad like scream or die or give in and tell Chat the truth. Because not only would he probably hate her for lying to him, it’d be _humiliating._

“Bye!” she shouts, grabbing her yo-yo off her belt and swinging away as fast as humanly possible. She takes a back way home, making drastic turns and traveling over streets she almost never goes down, because her and Chat are going to the _same place._

“Thank god,” she mutters as she spots one of her living room windows open a crack. She glances over her shoulder for what seems to be the thousandth time. She keeps thinking Chat is right on her tail. She lands on a ledge and yanks the window open, tumbling inside and detransforming on the floor.

“Marinette!” Tikki protests.

“I know I know!” Marinette says as she scrambles to her feet, scooping Tikki up in her hands. “But I have to go!” She sprints to the steps, skipping as many as she can as she climbs them.

“ _Adrien_?” Tikki chides.

“Trust me,” Marinette sighs as she throws open her trapdoor, “I _know._ ” She shuts the door and slumps against the wall. She really wants to stay here for the rest of time. But she can’t.

Natural. She has to look natural. She pushes herself up off the wall. She can’t look like she’s panicking. Tikki goes to hide as Marinette makes herself comfortable at her desk. She pulls out a sketchbook to mindlessly doodle as she waits, but all that she can come up with is random scribbles.

She sits up with a start when she hears someone land on her balcony. _Chat._

Marinette climbs up to her bed, opening the trapdoor and peering out into the darkness. She finds glowing green ones staring back at her as she climbs up. “Chat Noir?”

His tails swishes. “I have a small favor to ask.”

“A favor?” Marinette raises her eyebrows. “How small are you talking?”

“I need you to date me.”

She knew it was coming and she still feels like she’s been hit by a truck. “That's a small favor?” she asks. Her voice sounds weird, like she's underwater.

“Fake date me,” Chat corrects.

Marinette scoffs. She’s having a hard time breathing. “I’m sure there’s a great story behind this one.”

“There is!” Chat insists.

She crosses her arms. “Mhm.” Her mind has gone blank with the exception of the word ‘shit’ which is flashing in big, bold, red letters over and over again. “You wanna share, or…?”

He hunches his shoulders. “I might have…sort of…told Ladybug we were dating…” He glances up at her and forces a smile.

Marinette stares at him for a second before snorting. This entire situation is so _ridiculous_.

Chat watches, unimpressed as she doubles over laughing. “Hey, princess, this isn’t as funny as you seem to think it is.”

She stifles a giggle. “To you maybe. Why would you _say that_?”

Chat’s tail flicks in an almost irritated way. He crosses his arms and turns up his nose at her. “Maybe I don’t want to tell you.”

Marinette rolls her eyes. “Come on, I’m not going to give you an answer until I know why you’re getting me into this…disaster.”

He blinks and drops his arms. “Ladybug said… _something_ and I was sort of zoned out so I just _agreed_ with her and it turns out I had told her I was dating someone and—”

“Why didn’t you tell her you misheard or something?” She’s honestly in _awe_ of how this cat’s brain works.   

Chat shrugs. “Marinette, my life is just a series of bad decisions, okay?”

“How did _I_ get involved though?”

He rubs back of his neck. “Okay, so I was kind of trying to fix my fuck up and then somehow that led to Ladybug saying she had a boyfriend—”

_WRONG!_

“—and then I was panicking and we were going to say the names of the people we were dating and I was _still panicking_ and _you_ ,” he throws his arms out at her and she steps away in surprise, “were the first girl that popped into my head.”

She doesn’t exactly know what to do with this information. There was a lot more panicking involved in this situation than she initially realized. “Me?”

Chat shrugs again.

“ _Me_?! The random girl who helped you stop an akuma once? Who you’ve talked to like…what? Four times?”

“I don’t know! I told you! I was panicking! Do you know how well brains work when you’re panicking?! The answer is not well!”  

Marinette rubs the bridge of her nose. How fast this all went to shit is actually incredible. “So now instead of just _telling her_ you’re going to keep lying and fake date me?”

Chat narrows his eyes. “Again with the bad life choices.”

“What if I say no?” Marinette raises her eyebrows. “What then?”

“I go back to Ladybug with my tail between my legs and admit to being kind of an ass.”

“I think that’s the best plan,” Marinette says, bending over to open her trap door.

“No, wait!”

She sighs and straightens. “What?” she asks over her shoulder.

Chat is twisting his tail in his hands. “We don’t actually have to like _fake date_.”

“What do you mean?”

“All you’d have to do is say we’re dating if Ladybug happens to ask. Maybe sit up here once a week or something. And not for that long. Just like…a month or something.”

Marinette’s shoulders sag. “You really don’t want her to know, do you?”

Chat glances away, ears flat against his head. “I don’t know how she’d react,” he says softly. “I don’t want to…lose her or something. It’s not— You don’t have to.”

Marinette can feel her walls crumbling. This _cat_. “Okay,” she mutters.

Chat’s ears perk up. “What?”

“I said okay,” she grumbles. “But _only_ because it’s kind of hilarious to see how much you fucked up and I kind of want to see the outcome of this.”   

He hisses at her. “Maybe I _don’t_ want to fake date you.”

“I know for sure I don’t want to fake date you.”

He sticks his tongue out at her as his ring beeps. “And that’s my cue.” He hops up on the railing of her balcony and gives her a salute. “We can talk more about how much we don’t want to fake date each other later, but I’ve gotta run before I let the cat out of the bag.”

Marinette watches him leap over rooftops, a feeling a dread settling in her stomach. Well. Shit.

“What did you do?” Tikki asks as Marinette curls up on her bed and stares at the wall. “What did he say?”

“I’m fake dating Chat Noir,” Marinette murmurs. It hasn’t settled yet. “I’m _fake dating Chat Noir_.”

She rolls onto her back and grabs a pillow, pressing it to her face and screaming.

“Mari?”

Marinette lifts the pillow and takes a deep breath. “I have to talk to Adrien in the morning.”

* * *

Adrien stares at his ceiling. “Hey, Plagg?” he whispers.

“Shut up and go to sleep, kid,” Plagg grumbles.

“On a scale of one to ten, how badly do you think I’ve screwed up?”

“One to ten?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m feeling maybe a thirteen.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“No really, go to sleep. I don’t want to hear any more of your mewling until at least eight o’clock.”

Adrien rolls over and closes his eyes, but he doesn’t sleep. It’s surprisingly hard to sleep when all you can think about is the fact that you’re fake dating a girl in your class who spends most of her time around you stuttering and the fact that you’re apparently dating a girl you’ve been in love with for months.

Being two people is hard. Even without the superhero aspect. He probably should give himself props for taking this long to screw up this badly. Realistically, he probably should’ve done something like this within his first week of being Chat Noir.

He sits up with a start when there’s a knock at his window. The sky is a blue so pale it’s almost white, the sun barely above the horizon. Ladybug is peering in, gaze sweeping around the room. Their eyes meet and hers widen. She raises her fist and hesitates for a second before knocking again.

Right.

He throws off his blankets, making sure to cover Plagg, and opens the window for Ladybug. “Uh… Hi?”

“Hey,” she says with an awkward wave. “I have a tiny favor to ask. A teensy one. I mean, it’s really not that small at all it’s kind of a big deal but I hope it doesn’t actually become a big deal because it would be so much of a mess and—”

“What is it?” Adrien interrupts.

Ladybug stops, mouth gaping.

His heart is beating at a million beats a minute, anxiety building up in his chest. Asking Marinette to fake date him hadn’t been this bad. Although maybe the rush of panic adrenaline had helped with that.

“Ineedyoutofakedateme.”

“What?” He knows exactly what she’s asking and why, but it still catches him totally off guard.

Ladybug takes a deep breath. “Okay, um… So Chat and I were on patrol last night and…” She bites her lip and looks away. “He said he was dating someone and said something and I panicked and said I had a boyfriend and then he wanted to know said nonexistent boyfriend’s name and so… I might’ve said your name?” She tightens her grip on her yo-yo string like she’s going to leap away.

“Okay.”

She blinks and looks down at him. “What?”

Looking at him like that is making his heart do funny things. He needs it to stop so he can focus. “H-how can I help?”

Ladybug sighs and sits down on his window sill, bracing herself on the window frame. “I have to go before my parents wake up and notice me missing but, we don’t have to like… _actually_ fake date. Just, if Chat asks…” She gives him a nervous look.

Adrien nods eagerly. Chat’s not going to ask. He’s not really sure how that’d work. “Yeah, that works for me.”

Ladybug smiles, and when she does, she shines like the sun. “Thank you,” she says softly.

“Of course.”

“I’ll talk to you soon to make sure we’re good on everything else.” She stands and he wishes he had some reason to make her stay longer. “But really, thank you, Adrien.”

“Uh huh.” He stays in front of her window long after she’s out of site.

“Good going, Romeo,” Plagg says, landing on Adrien’s shoulder. “You’re fake dating two people at once.”

Adrien scowls. “I was having a good morning, way to ruin it.”

“Good?” Plagg scoffs. “You’re fake dating the girl you want to actually date.”

“It’s better than nothing.”

“It’s _pathetic_.”

Adrien shuts the window. “Say another word and you eat Kraft singles for a _month_.”

“That’s not even real cheese!” Plagg protests.

“I’ll make it two months,” Adrien threatens.

“Cruel and unusual punishment.” Plagg floats up to the top of Adrien’s head, making himself comfortable in Adrien’s hair. “Fine. I won’t mention how messed up this is again.”

“Thank you.”

“It’s really messed up though.”

“Plagg!”


	2. congrats, you played yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't going to be as simple as just lying to each other. Because the universe thinks it's much more hilarious to get them into a bigger mess and then watch them try and get out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm having fun with this. i'm genuinely enjoying myself. this is ridiculous on like 42 different levels, but you know what? it's fun. 
> 
> i'm still not sure when updates will be, i just don't know they won't be all that regular. you know, considering i wrote 3.5k of this last night in one sitting and am uploading it less than 12 hours later. but anyway
> 
> enjoy the madness~

Adrien can’t stop his mind from whirling on the way to school. There’s a slight anxiety building up in his stomach, making him bounce his leg nonstop, no doubt irritating the hell out of Plagg. He just has so much to _think about_.

Like Ladybug. And when she’ll come back and what they’ll talk about and the fact that he’s _fake dating Ladybug_ . Marinette. What he’s going to say to her. The fact that he’s _also_ fake dating Marinette. He’s fake dating both of them.

He still can’t figure out why Ladybug would lie about dating someone. He can’t figure out why she would name _him_ either. All of the questions he has are slowly taking over his brain.

But he can’t let them. He has to focus. One step at a time, and step one is getting through the school day without acting any different around Marinette. Which will undoubtedly be a little awkward. Hopefully only for him. Hopefully no one else notices any possible awkwardness.

Any chance of that goes out the window when he opens the car door and realizes _everyone_ is staring at him. Everyone outside of the school has stopped talking to just _look at him_. Chloé raises her eyebrows when he meets her eyes like he’s supposed to know what that means. And he doesn’t? Have any clue what’s going on?

Nino and Alya come up behind him and grab his arms, dragging him off behind the bushes. The bushes that he’s associated with Marinette and Alya, because for some reason, they’re always hiding behind them.

“What is going on?” he asks as soon as Alya lets go of him.

“What’s going on,” she repeats in an amazed tone. She turns to Nino. “ _What’s going on_.”

Nino pushes back his hat. “ _Bro_.”

Adrien frowns. “No really what—” He looks over the bushes to try and figure why everyone is looking at him like he grew another head. He spots Marinette walking toward the school. “Does Marinette know?” he asks as he ducks back down.

Alya’s eyes go wide. “What?”

“Does Marinette know what’s going on?” He waves Marinette over despite Alya grabbing at his arm. Alya and Marinette tell each other everything, if Alya knows why everyone’s acting so weird, so does Marinette.

“Uh… W-why are we behind the bushes?” Marinette asks.

Adrien shrugs. “Alya and Nino dragged me back here.”

A weird look crosses Marinette’s face as she glances between the two of them. “What’s going on?”

“That’s what _I said_ ,” he gives Nino a pointed look.

Marinette narrows her eyes and pulls out her phone.

Alya bites her bottom lip and looks a little bit like she’s going to explode and Adrien isn’t sure how concerned he should be right now. Because he knows weird and this is _weird_.

Marinette’s eyes go wide. “Oh.” She glances up to meet Adrien’s eyes and then looks back down to her screen, her jaw dropping.

Alya tugs Marinette into the bushes with them, shaking her out of her daze.  

Nino pulls Marinette’s phone from her hands. “This is ‘what’s going on’,” he says, showing the screen to Adrien.

Adrien takes the phone. He’s looking at a picture on the Ladyblog. It’s a pretty dark image and not exactly the best quality. It takes him a few seconds to realize what he’s seeing.

Oh.

Oh _shit_.

* * *

Marinette hadn’t actually thought that this situation could get any more fucked up. It was already too fucked up to become more fucked up. But she’d done it. She had absolutely done it. She’d managed to fucked it up even more.

“I’m sorry, Mar,” Alya whispers, squeezing her tightly in a one armed hug.

Oh. Right.

At least she doesn’t have to worry about what Alya thinks of her reaction. Because Alya probably thinks that she’s upset that Adrien is dating someone else.

What had she said again? That they didn’t have to actually fake date? She screwed that up fantastically. Good going bug brain.

“Uh…” Adrien is staring at her phone like he can’t really believe what he’s seeing. “It’s—”

“Not what we think?” Nino asks. “Bro, how long have you been _dating_ Ladybug.”

Adrien shrinks back a little. “I, um…”

Alya leans forward. Marinette knows Alya is firmly on Team Marinette when it comes to Adrien’s love life, but she’s also a journalist with a blog and a slight obsession with a certain spotted superhero. And that means she needs answers. “Do you have a better explanation for why Ladybug was sitting on your window sill at six in the morning?”

Marinette’s mind is doing all sorts of panicking but she still can’t help but think that Adrien looks really cute when he’s nervous. His ears have turned pink and he’s rubbing the back of his neck and this is _not her priority right now oh my god._

“She j-just wanted to talk,” Adrien says quickly.

Alya grabs Marinette’s phone away from him and zooms in on the picture. Ladybug’s face is barely visible, but she’s smiling. At least, Marinette knows she’s smiling. Mostly it just looks blurry. She shoves the phone in Adrien’s face. “ _That_ is not the face of someone who ‘just wanted to talk’.”

Adrien leans back, trying to get a better look at the screen. “It…just sort of looks pixelated and blurry to me?”

“Then what’d you talk about?” Alya shoots back.

Adrien turns red. “We…um…we—”

Alya jumps to her feet and points at him. “I KNEW IT!” She waves at whoever is staring at her, probably the entire student body, and kneels back down. “I _knew_ something was up. Everyone was _right_.”

“For once,” Nino teases.

Alya bumps her shoulder against his. “Shut up.

“Don’t pretend like the majority of your followers are a _little_ obsessed.” Nino raises an eyebrow. “Of course not as obsessed as _you_?”

Alya crosses her arms. “Hey, I’m not the one making the fanfic and the fanart. I just run the blog.” Nino scoffs. “Shut up.” She turns her attention back to Adrien, who is _such_ a bright shade of red — it’s a gorgeous color on him — and is staring furiously at his hands. “So how long has it been?”

“O-only a few weeks,” he mumbles.

“A few weeks!” she whisper shrieks, elbowing Nino violently. “I can’t believe you didn’t _tell us_.”

Adrien meets Marinette’s eyes and she thinks she might be melting away. “I didn’t know how serious it was,” he admits softly. The way he’s looking at her is making her stomach flip and if she didn’t know better, she’d think that he knew she was Ladybug. But he couldn’t. He doesn’t.

Marinette looks away first, biting her lip. Why is her life such a _mess_?

“You _did it_ ,” Nino says. He shakes his head. “Bro, I can’t believe you fucking _did it_!” He holds out his fist to Adrien.

Adrien just stares at it. “Um…?”

“You’re _dating Ladybug_ .” Adrien hesitantly fist bumps Nino. “You’ve been pining over her all _year_ like dude come on that’s _awesome!_ ” Nino laughs. “I can’t believe you actually did it!”

If it were possible for Adrien to get any redder, he does. Marinette just stares at him as he ducks his head.

Adrien has a _crush_ on Ladybug?!

* * *

“My father is going to kill me,” Adrien says.

Nino looks up from his paper in surprise. They’re doing busy work because they have a substitute and all Adrien can do is fall deeper and deeper into his swirling thoughts.

“Kill you? Isn’t that a little harsh?” Nino jokes. But when Adrien meets Nino’s eyes, there’s something in them that tells him that Nino knows how serious he’s being. “Dude, I am so sorry,” he says softly.

Adrien nods.

Alya leans forward, popping her head between the two boys. “So I’m guessing _now_ is a bad time to tell you Ladrien is trending on tumblr _and_ twitter?”

Adrien groans and puts his head down on the desk.

“Timing, babe,” Nino says softly.

“I figured it was better to tell him now and rip it off like a bandaid than later when _multiple_ hashtags are trending.”

Adrien turns his head when Alya puts her phone down on the desk next to him. She ruffles his hair and mouths ‘we’ll talk after’ before motioning to the glaring substitute.

Adrien sighs and scrolls through Twitter. Alya has pulled up the hashtag and there are so many tweets that it’s almost overwhelming. The reaction is so…mixed. It kind of makes him want to throw up. There are tweets that are like “ohmygdo i cnat believe ladrien is CANON”, “CALLED IT!! TOTALLY CALLED IT I MEAN VOLPINA!!!! WHY ELSE WOULD VOLPINA USE ADRIEN AS BAIT!!!”, and “oh my god ladrien is so hot and i am so bi” which are just kind of weird to see. But then there’s tweets that are angry and heartbroken and just overall negative. Those seem to be the majority of the tweets. People who liked Ladybug. People who like Adrien. People who are _really_ broken up about the fact that Ladynoir is not a thing.

Adrien knew that Ladybug and Chat Noir had a following, how could he not with Alya as a friend, but he hadn’t realized how _invested_ people were in their love lives.

“Glad you don’t have a personal twitter account?” Nino asks, reading tweets over Adrien’s shoulder.

“Am I?” A tweet that is just a series of sobbing emojis catches his eye. “I don’t think I can express how glad I am.”

“Any chance your dad just…won’t hear about this?”

Adrien gives Nino an incredulous look. “Nathalie is probably gathering all the details she can right now.”

“Good good. This is good.” Nino swipes the screen, scrolling down to read more tweets. “This is bizarre, dude. I mean I knew you had fans but _shit_ . This is _intense_.”

—«·»—

Alya grabs his arm after class. “Heyyyyyy.”

Adrien sighs. “Before you ask, no, you cannot get an exclusive interview with Ladybug. Sorry.”

Alya scowls and hits him lightly. “Kind of offended that you think I’d use you like that.”

He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, I just—”

“Are stressed? On high alert?” She shrugs. “Yeah, I figured. I just wanted to apologize, actually.”

“Apologize?” Adrien runs through the list of things people have done today. Asked for autographs from Ladybug, taking pictures, screamed, tried to ask about Ladybug, screamed some more, the list goes on and on. “Why are you apologizing?”

Alya makes a face. “For posting that picture. I wasn’t even thinking when I posted it, I got the submission and posted it. It was mindless and careless, but I really should’ve, you know, _asked_ before revealing your love life to like thirty thousand people. Who then posted it to the forums and reblogged it and spread it. I mean it _said_ ‘Ladybug is in Adrien Agreste’s window’ in the comment and I should’ve been more protective of your privacy.”

Adrien gives her a gentle smile. “It’s okay. Someone else would’ve put it on twitter or tumblr if you hadn’t. I’m used to not having any privacy.”

Alya rolls her eyes. “ _Yeah_ but I’m not supposed to _contribute_ to that. That’s not what a good friend does.”

“You’re a great friend,” he says. “I mean it.”

Alya hugs him tightly. “And you deserve better than me. I mean that.” She gives him a small smile when she pulls away. “Good luck with your dad. Let me know if I have to fight him or something.”

“I will,” Adrien promises, returning the smile. As she walks away, hooking her arm through Marinette’s and dragging her through the door, Adrien lets out a sigh. He had not been emotionally or mentally prepared for today.

And just when he thinks he might be able to catch a break, the universe says ‘haha yeah right, fuck you’.

Chloé throws her arms around his neck and presses a kiss to his cheek. “Adrikins!”

He tries to detangle himself as gently as possible. “Um, Chlo—”

“We need to talk,” she whispers in his ear before pulling away and beaming at him again.

* * *

Alya starts ranting as soon as they’re out of earshot of Adrien. “I can’t _believe_ this!” She drags Marinette along, saying she was so _sure_ there was something going on between Ladybug and Chat Noir anyone with _eyes_ could see that! And how _oblivious_ Adrien must be if he can’t see how _adorable_ and _perfect_ Marinette is for him.

Marinette allows herself to be dragged along in a slight daze.

Her and Adrien were going to have to _actually_ fake date. Adrien _actually_ liked her that way. Ladybug that way. At least according to Nino. But Adrien hadn’t exactly done anything to deny it and his blushing sure did do a lot to confirm it.

How the _hell_ is she ever going to have a normal conversation with Adrien ever again?

She decides that the answer is she’s never going to. Not that she can call _any_ of the conversations she’s ever had with Adrien normal. Who is she kidding? She starts planning her inevitable meltdown.

Alya stops in the middle of the sidewalk and turns to face Marinette, crossing her arms. “Okay you are _not_ as upset about this as you should be?”

“What do you mean?” Marinette asks, putting her hands on her hips.

“Hello?” Alya knocks on the side of Marinette’s head. “Where is my best friend who’s spent all year planning her and Adrien’s futures together and who is this _robot_ who’s replaced her?”

“I just… I don’t know, it just doesn’t exactly _feel_ real. Kind of like a dream.”

“Or a nightmare,” Alya grumbles.

“I’m surprised you kept face all day,” Marinette says, quickly changing the subject.

Alya gives her a look to let her know that she _knows_ what just happened but lets it slide. “Yeah, _barely_. I swear to god I will knock some sense into that boy.”

Marinette laughs. “Let me know when you do.”

“Oh you will _know_ ,” Alya says. She hooks Marinette’s arm again. “You’re going to be right there next to me because the _second_ that boy’s head is straight on his body again you are _telling him_ . I am _not_ letting this die.”

“I never thought you would.”

“Good. Now let’s go drown our emotions in ice cream. I’m done with today.”

 _Me too_ , Marinette thinks as Alya pulls her home.

* * *

Adrien will say one thing. Chloé knows what she’s doing. She expertly drags him through the crowd of students and paparazzi — he should’ve know that was coming — to the limo. She flashes smiles and tosses her hair at all the right times, making it as much about her as she possibly can, allowing Adrien to sort of hide behind her out of the limelight. Once they’re in the car, she tells the Gorilla to go to the hotel and to step on it.

Adrien runs through his schedule in his mind. His afternoon is free. Usually he’d be spending it with Nino, but Nino was busy working today and being with Chloé means he gets to avoid the inevitable talk waiting for him back at home.

Although there’s something just as daunting about talking to Chloé too.

He follows her up to her room without a word. Chloé is quiet and whenever Chloé is quiet there’s _reason_ for it. Everything Chloé does is for a reason. Every outfit, every look, every word. She’s spent her entire life building and acting. Adrien can relate.

Chloé shuts her door and flops onto her bed. “So,” she says casually, “Ladybug?”

Adrien laughs nervously and rubs the back of his neck. “Ah… Right.”

She arches an eyebrow.

He hunches his shoulders as she stares at him. “What about her?”

“You’re _dating_ her.”

He feels his cheeks start to heat up again. He’s probably blushed enough today to last him the rest of his life. “Um, yeah?”

Chloé pats the spot on the bed next to her. Adrien drops his bag on the ground and joins her. They both look up at the plastic, glow in the dark stars on her ceiling.

“What’s it like dating Paris’ favorite heroine?” Chloé asks, voice dipped carefully in sarcasm and disinterest.

Adrien glances at her, an amused smile playing on his lips. She keeps her eyes firmly on the stars. “ _Really_?” he asks.

Chloé purses her lips and shrugs. “I figured I’d ask.”

“Yeah, you dragged me here to not be interested in my girlfriend,” he teases. Only his stomach twists into knots and the word ‘girlfriend’ gets tangled on his tongue. Oh god is he really referring to Ladybug as his _girlfriend_?! What has his life become? How did he simultaneously become the luckiest and least lucky person on the planet?

“I’m not _that_ interested,” Chloé protests.

“It’s okay if you are though,” Adrien says. He looks back up to the ceiling.

“I _know_ it’s okay,” she snaps. “God we’ve already _had_ this conversation.”

He knows they have. It wasn’t even really a conversation. When you spend a lot of time with one person you start to really know them. And who they have crushes on.

“Bi buds for life, am I right?” Adrien asks.

Chloé rolls her eyes but bumps his outstretched fist.

“Now that that’s over with,” he moves so he’s sitting face to face with Chloé, “go ahead and ask.”

“What? I get special treatment?” She tugs one of the pillows out from behind her and wraps her arms around it. “You wouldn’t say a _word_ about it at school.”

“That’s _school_ ,” he says. “And I told you about my first crush when I was six. I think I should tell you about my first girlfriend.”

“God it took you _long enough_.”

“To get a girlfriend?”

“To get _anyone_.” Chloé shakes her head. “I mean!” She gestures to him. “What the hell?!”

“I was _homeschooled_.”

She scoffs. “Oh you had _plenty_ of people throwing themselves at you.”

“I wanted something more than that,” Adrien says seriously. He knows Chloé already knew that, but he thinks that she’s so used to holding up appearances that she sometimes forgets.

She smirks at him. “And _Ladybug_ is that ‘something more’?”

“Yes,” he says.

And he must get some sort of goofy, love sick look in his eyes, because Chloé throws her pillow at him and says, “Ew, _gross_.”

* * *

Marinette waits for him on her balcony. After everything that’s happened today, she assumes that he’ll want to talk. About…all of _this_. There’s no doubt he’s heard about Ladybug and Adrien. And unlike her, he doesn’t know that it’s not real.

She takes a shaky breath and Tikki nuzzles her neck. “It’ll be okay, Mari,” Tikki whispers.  

“We really screwed this up,” Marinette murmurs.

Tikki just hums.

Marinette stargazes while she waits. She’d never been one for the stars until she started patrolling with Chat Noir. It’s not so much that they run out of things to talk about, but more of the stars are such an _interesting_ thing to talk about. Something Chat seems to have an endless supply of knowledge on. Whether it’s mythology or science or something of his own creation, he always has something to say about the twinkling lights in the sky.

“Expecting me, princess?”

Marinette lowers her gaze to meet Chat’s glowing green eyes. “I figured we’d have a lot to talk about.”  

Chat hops up onto the railing of her balcony. “Yeah…” He draws out the word and leaves it hanging.

“I heard,” she says to break the silence. “About Ladybug and Adrien.”

Chat laughs lightly. “Who hasn’t?”

That’s true. It’s been all over everything. The internet, the news, the general grapevine of Paris. There was a reason Marinette didn’t transform at all today.

“Jealous?” she teases. Or at least she means to tease. Chat’s eyes are surprisingly serious when she meets them. “Oh.”

She doesn’t exactly know what to do with this new information. She had always taken Chat’s flirting as playful fun. Part of the act. She’d taken all of his flirtations with a grain of salt, and for good reason. He’d flirted unabashedly with Marinette. She didn’t realize that there was actual _feeling_ underneath all the bravado and leather. Feelings that weren’t just platonic.

Chat shrugs. It’s tenser than usual and there’s something…off about it.

Marinette reaches out to scratch behind his ears, but that’s something that Ladybug would do. And she is not Ladybug, she is Marinette. And Marinette barely knows Chat Noir and would not be scratching him behind the ears.

She puts her hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she says.

Chat watches her with large eyes. “It’s okay,” he promises. “I’m really not that upset. I’m just,” his tail swishes, “getting used to the idea.”

“Aren’t we all,” Marinette murmurs.

“What’d you say?”

“I just said ‘I can imagine’.” That was a close one. She does _not_ need to make this worse.

“Do you like anyone, princess?” he asks.

She crosses her arms. “Definitely not you.”

Chat gives her a flat look. “Ha ha. Very fun. Mock the fake boyfriend.” He leans forward, tilting his head. “You do, don’t you?”  

“N-none of your business!” Marinette glares at him as she feels a blush creeping up her cheeks.

Chat sits back with a satisfied smirk. “You _do_ have a crush on someone, princess!” He looks up at the sky for a moment. “Good thing we both like other people.”

“Why?”

“Because maybe you’ll be able to resist my charm.” He smirks at her and she gives him the most deadpan look she can manage.

“So did you have anything actually _serious_ you wanted to talk about?”

“Wow look at that subject change! Flawless!”

Marinette rolls her eyes. “It’s late, I have homework, and I’m tired.”

“Okay, relatable.” Chat runs a hand through his hair. “So…details? We’ve been dating for let’s say three weeks and I asked you out right here.” He gestures to the balcony and Marinette nods. “And I think just _this_ works for now. You know, me dropping by occasionally. Us talking. I might have to lie to Ladybug about like…dates and stuff. My plan is to just go with the flow.”

“That’s a shit plan.”

“Thank you. Want to think of something better?”

Marinette scoffs. “I’ll let you figure that one out.”

“I am not the one with the plans,” Chat admits.

“I kind of figured.”

Chat scowls. “ _Why_ did I want to fake date you again?”

Marinette raises her eyebrows. “I don’t know. I keep asking.” She turns to her trap door. “Goodnight, Chat.”

“Really why—”

“ _Goodnight._ ”

—«·»—

Marinette groans. She doesn’t know when she fell asleep on her homework, but she does know there’s no way in hell this math homework is getting done tonight. She blinks slowly and tries to decide if she should actually get into bed or if she should just keep using her textbook as a pillow.

She glares at her phone as it vibrates again. It woke her up and that is _not_ okay.

It’s after midnight and Marinette considers just ignoring all of the messages that Alya’s sending. She weighs the pros and cons and decides that it’s better to get it over with now than dealing with not only _more_ messages later and also a very irritated best friend. She blinks at her screen sleepily, the words not really processing.

 **From: the best™  
** **To: partner in (phone stealing) crime  
**      MAIRNETTE  
     WHAAT TEH F UCK   
     I CNAT BELIEV  
     CALL ME  
     RIGHT NOW  
     FUC IN  
     WAKE UP ADN CALL ME !!!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah yes. this is how you marichat. exactly how you marichat. indeed
> 
> and just to clarify, NO adrien does NOT know marinette is ladybug. he just gives her a look and marinette panics a little. 
> 
> *dumps in sexuality headcanons* *dumps in adrien/alya friendship* *dumps in star stuff* *dumps in some more chaos* yup that looks good enough
> 
> i hope you're all enjoying this wild ride as much as i am. i'm on [tumblr](http://sadrien.tumblr.com/tagged/my-fics) and i post random lines and updates about this and other fics i write! :)


	3. at least this can't get any—

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette has to prepare herself to deal with fangirls in civilian form, Adrien is a lovesick loser who isn't getting enough sleep, and behind the bushes becomes the Official Meeting Place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp
> 
> ok so i don't feel great about this chapter and today has been a kind of awful day, but i start senior year tomorrow (*muffled anxious screaming*) and i have no idea how heavy my workload is going to be. 
> 
> i don't really like this at all but take it while you can.

Marinette makes a face at her phone as it rings. “What?” she grumbles after she answers.

“ _You read the messages. And I just have to say… WHAT THE FUCK!_ ” Marinette yanks the phone away from her ear as Alya screeches into the speaker.

Marinette rubs her eyes. “Al, do you know what time it is? It’s too late for whatever this is.”

“ _It’s not too late for you to be out with_ Chat Noir.”

Marinette is awake.

She is wide awake, heart racing, blooding pumping loudly in her ears. “W-what?!” Tikki hovers nervously, having been woken up by Alya’s scream. Marinette gives her a terrified look.

Alya knows Alya knows Alya knows Alya—

“ _Mari, someone got a picture of you and Chat on your balcony._ ”

All the tension leaves Marinette and she slumps against the back of her chair.

Alya doesn’t know.

Marinette hadn’t even transformed today because of the Ladybug and Adrien thing—

Oh shit.

“A picture?” Marinette asks, sitting up straighter. “W-what do you mean?”

“ _I- Ugh, I’ll just send it to you._ ” Marinette can hear Alya muttering to herself as she finds the picture. “ _There_ ,” Alya says after a moment. “ _Sent_.”

Marinette puts Alya on speaker and opens the message.

“ _Someone submitted it to the Ladyblog, but I didn’t see it until now because I was actually being productive for once and doing homework_ .” Alya goes silent as Marinette stares at the picture. “ _Marinette?_ ”

“I, uh…” She stares at the picture. It’s a bit dark and pixely, but not as bad as the Ladybug and Adrien on had been. How did someone even get this angle? She has her hand on Chat’s cheek. When did she put her hand on his cheek?

She had reached up to scratch behind his ears.

This picture had been taken as she realized that was a bad idea and had moved her hand down to Chat’s shoulder.

Shit.

“ _I’m not going to make any assumptions,_ ” Alya says, but they both know she’s already made a few hundred. “ _But the caption says ‘haven’t figured out who the girl is yet but I think I know why Chat didn’t seem too upset about Ladrien’ followed by a winky face_.”

“Chat wasn’t out for long today,” Marinette mumbles. She’s trying to figure out what to do but so much has happened in the past two days and it’s so late that her mind is just going in circles. Her only real coherent thought is ‘how the _fuck_ did this get _worse_?’

Alya goes quiet again.

Marinette sighs. “Go ahead. Ask.” She flips through the pages of her textbook. She’s never going to be able to sleep now.

It comes out in a rush. “ _AreyoudatingChatNoir?_ ”

Marinette chews on her lip. “Um…” Alya already knows the answer. She knew from the minute Marinette stopped talking after seeing the picture. “M-mayb—”

“ _I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP_ !” Alya yells. “ _I_ knew _you weren’t disappointed enough about Adrien dating Ladybug. I knew it I knew it! I just didn’t realize it was_ this.”

Marinette rests her chin in her hand. Tikki sits on her shoulder, leaning against her neck with a soft sigh.

“ _I— Wait, why didn’t you say anything? When did this even_ happen _?! Today with Adrien—_ ”

“Acting, Alya,” Marinette interrupts quickly. “I… It’s been…three weeks? We didn’t want to tell anyone. Just to be…safe? You know? And I figured that if I suddenly didn’t have a crush on Adrien or acted differently around him you might…ask questions. Now I just act weird around him because I feel awkward about how embarrassing my crush on him was,” she mumbles. She’s lying through her teeth and she _hates it_. Especially lying to Alya. That makes it worse.

Alya pauses before saying, “ _Okay I can sort of see your logic but also what the fuck. I’m sorry, I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you’re_ dating _Chat Noir. Like…_ what?!”

“Are…are you going to post it?” Marinette whispers.   

“ _No_ ,” Alya says firmly. “ _I won’t. I… I learned my lesson with Adrien, I won’t post anything else that involves civilians outside of basic akuma stuff unless they give me permission_ .” Marinette lets out a sigh of relief, but her relief is short lived. “ _But… I have to warn you, I don’t know who submitted it, it was through an email on tumblr and I… They might post it elsewhere. And there are other blogs, not as good as mine, obviously, but with lots of followers. And I mean, if_ anyone _posts it, it’ll be literally everywhere. Someone’s going to recognize you. You…might want to warn Chat. If you can. You might wake up to Marichat trending across social media._ ”

Marinette rubs her temple. Of course Alya already has a ship name for them. It was probably the first thing she thought of after ‘what the fuck’. “I will. Yeah…thanks.”

“ _Of course, girl. It just…surprised me. Not every day you find out your best friend is dating one of the city’s superheroes._ ” Alya sighs. “ _I’m going to go finish notes before I pass out. Go back to sleep, ok? I’ll protect you from the shippers in the morning_.”

Marinette laughs weakly. “Thanks, Al.”

“ _What are friends for if not to fight off angry fangirls? I got your back._ ”

Marinette laughs. “Night.” She’s about to hang up when she hears Alya inhale.

“ _You know you can always tell me stuff, right?_ ”

“Alya—”

“ _Like I know you didn’t want to, but you can tell me anything. Even if it’s about Chat. I know I run the blog and everything, but I will never post something on there that you don’t want me to. If you have other reasons for not telling me, it’s fine and I totally understand, but if it’s because of the Ladyblog— I just mean to say that the Ladyblog shouldn’t be the thing that keeps you from telling me stuff. And I’m really really sorry if it’s one of the reasons you didn’t tell me about Chat. I don’t want some blog to come between us._ ”

Marinette gulps. Alya means well but this does nothing but make her feel even shitter about lying. She doesn’t deserve Alya as a friend right now. “I know,” she whispers. “Don’t worry.”

“ _I never worry, you worry for me. I’ll see you in the morning. Love you._ ”

“Love you too,” Marinette murmurs. She puts down her phone and runs her hands through her hair.

Fuck.

“Mari?” Tikki asks.

Marinette sighs. “We should tell Chat.”

Tikki nods. “It’s a good thing Ladybug knows Marientte. You’re going to need to find some way to talk though.”

“I’ll think of something.” Marinette pushed away from her desk and stands up. It’s too late for this, but she doesn’t want to wait until morning. Hopefully he won’t mind. “Tikki, spots on!”

Ladybug climbs up to her balcony and hides in the shadows. After making sure there’s no defining features or anything that will give away her location, she calls Chat. She tried to be patient while waiting for him to pick up, he probably has to wake up and transform before he can answer, but she can’t stop bouncing her leg. “Come on come on come on come on,” she mutters.

She starts breathing easier when his face fills the screen of her yo-yo. He looks tired— of course he looks tired, it’s after midnight. But still, there’s something about him that looks so drained.

He run his hand through his hair. “ _Bugaboo, do you know what time is it?_ ”

Ladybug rolls her eyes. “How would your girlfriend feel about you calling me bugaboo?”

“ _It’s a platonic bugaboo_.”

“Uh huh.”

“ _She won’t mind_ ,” he promises, stifling a yawn. “ _What’s got you up and buzzing?”_

“Your girlfriend, actually.”

Chat frowns. “ _What do you mean?_ ”

Ladybug takes a deep breath. All out at once, that’ll be easiest. Maybe after she’ll feel a little less like she’s going to throw up. Ladybug in the tabloids is one thing, Marinette is another. “Marinette texted me. Do you remember Lady Wifi?” Chat nods. “That girl, Alya, is one of Marinette’s best friends. She runs the Ladyblog. She got a submission tonight, a picture of you on Marinette’s balcony.”

Chat’s eyes go wide. Ladybug waits for him to respond in some way, but all he does is nod slowly. He’s quiet for another moment before saying, “ _Right. I…guess that takes you and model kid out of the spotlight so it’s not all bad._ ”

Ladybug shakes her head. “She’s not posting it.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Marinette said that Alya isn’t going to post anything involving civilians unless she has their consent. Not after…” Ladybug sighs. “She’s not going to post the picture. But I’m telling you because Alya says it’ll probably be posted by someone else _somewhere_.”

“ _Does the person who sent it to her know who Marinette is?_ ” Chat asks.

That surprises her for some reason. She’s not sure why, she knows Chat and she knows him well and he’s always been compassionate and caring. It’s just…surprising? It’s been a long day. “No, but someone will figure it out or recognize her. Marinette says the picture is less fuzzy than the one they got of Adrien and I. And she says someone will probably recognize the balcony. Alya suggested Marinette warn you that ‘Marichat’ might be trending when you wake up.”

Chat runs his hand through his hair. “ _Okay_.”

Right. She’s warned him, she’s been awkward, now she can go to bed.

“ _Tell her to post it._ ”

Ladybug almost drops her yo-yo. “Wait what?”

“ _If Marinette is okay with it, that is_ ,” he says quickly. “ _Alya can post it._ ”

Ladybug nods slowly. “Right. Right… What?”

“ _I mean… If someone else is going to post it anyway, we’d rather it be posted by someone we trust, right?_ ”

That…makes sense. Alya would never be malicious about it, and the Ladyblog is considered The Official Ladybug and Chat Noir Source by most people. It’s better than some random tabloid grabbing it and running with it. She cringes. She’s been mentally preparing herself for Marichat being everywhere, but not Ladrien.

It’s really weird to think of herself in ships. Kind of a little uncomfortable, actually. With Ladynoir — at least, that’s what Alya calls it — she’s been able to kind of ignore it? In a way? It’s not too hard to separate herself from it. She’s Marinette, not Ladybug. But with Ladrien and Marichat, she doesn’t have that ability. The public is looking to _Marinette_ . Not Ladybug. Not their hero. _Marinette_ . Who fangirls would happily tear to shreds which is just…a terrifying thought. By that logic, Ladrien should be _less_ anxiety inducing, but she has to be _around_ Adrien and he’s already in the limelight and— 

“ _Bug?_ ”

Ladybug blinks. “Huh?”

Chat frowns. “You okay?”

She nods. “Yeah. Yeah, just tired.”

“ _You should sleep. You’ve had a long day with_ ,” he waves his hand around, “ _all the…whatever_.”

She lets out a laugh. It feels forced, but it makes her feel a little less like she’s getting crushed. “You’re going to have a long one tomorrow.”

“ _We both are,_ ” he corrects. “ _I mean they’ve had time to write tabloid stuff about you_.”

Ladybug groans. “Please—”

Chat holds up his hand in surrender. “ _I’m going. Sorry, LB. You might not need beauty sleep, but I do, so I’ll go._ ”

“Thanks,” she says quickly. His eyes widen in surprise. Crap where did that come from? What is she thanking him for again? God she needs to go to sleep. “For being calmer about this expected. I’m sure it’ll make Marinette feel better. I’ll see you tomorrow for patrol?”

Chat smirks. “ _Yeah, see you then,_ bugaboo _. Kiss your boyfriend for me_.”

Ladybug’s eyes go wide as she hits ‘end’ repeatedly. She buries her burning face in her hands. Nope. Nope nope nope. She’s not going to think about it. She’s not going to do it. She refuses to think about kissing Adrien Agreste. It’s not going to happen. No. Never. She is not thinking about it she is not thinking about it she is not thinking about it she is not—

That _damn cat_.

* * *

Adrien bangs his head against his desk.

“You’re going to give yourself a concussion,” Plagg grumbles. “I’m trying to sleep here.”

Adrien rests his elbows on the desk and pulls at his hair. “You aren’t allowed to sleep when I’m _panicking_!”

Plagg gives him a tired look. “Kid, you did this _to yourself_. Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?”

“ _Yes_.”

“Can it wait until morning?”

Adrien buries his head in his arms and groans.

“Is that a yes?”

“No,” he mumbles. “You’re right, it’s all my fault.”

Plagg lands on top of Adrien’s head. “When did I say that?”

“It _is_.”

“At least you can say Ladybug did the exact same thing. You’re both awful. Together.”

“Inspiring,” Adrien mutters.

“Yeah, I try. Now go to sleep or get me some camembert.”

Adrien doesn’t sleep. He lays in bed and stares at the ceiling while Plagg snores. His mind is too awake and active for sleep to even be an option. His entire life is just dark rooms and endless nights.

God that’s dramatic even for him.

He’s beyond relieved when there’s a soft knock on his window. Not even because seeing Ladybug always makes him feel thousands of times better. But laying in bed pretending to sleep is possibly one of the worst things he could be doing right now.

He throws open his window with his heart in his throat.

Ladybug gives him a small smile and he forgets how to breathe.

“Hi,” he says softly, stepping out of the way so she can climb down into his room.

She hooks her yo-yo on her belt. “Hi. I um…” She glances away from him. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t sleep. So if I woke you…”

“I couldn’t either,” Adrien says quickly. “Sleep. That is. I couldn’t sleep.”

Ladybug bites her lip. “I’msosorry.”

He blinks in surprise. “For?” he asks, tilting his head.

She turns pink and rubs the back of her head. “The, uh… _picture_ thing.”

Right. Ladrien.

“Don’t worry about it.” He shrugs. “I’m…kind of used to it?”

Ladybug looks up at him with wide eyes. “R-really?”

“I mean… No,” he admits. “I’m used to the attention. The, um, relationship stuff is new.”

“Right,” she murmurs. “Model.”

Adrien nods.

Ladybug rubs her arm and he realizes the intense _awkwardness_ of all of this. Standing in his bedroom in the dark, struggling to find words to say. Adrien doesn’t know Ladybug. Ladybug doesn’t know him. _Chat_ knows Ladybug. Ladybug knows Chat. Adrien and Ladybug have never had a full conversation before. They have to start from the beginning.

He motions to his couch. “Do you want to sit down?”

They sit on opposite sides of the couch like complete strangers— they _are_ complete strangers. Ladybug sits with her hands in her lap and her ankles crossed, like she’s afraid of breathing wrong. Adrien can’t stop looking at her. He doesn’t want to stare, but he doesn’t know what to do with this.

“We need to figure out a way to talk,” Ladybug says suddenly. “I-I mean like, communicate. Text? Email? Because I can’t—” She motions to herself. “If we needed to talk to each other quickly we don’t have a way to…do that?”

Adrien runs his fingers through his hair. He thinks of Alya texting Marinette who contacted Ladybug to talk to Chat. Yeah. A better way was probably needed. “Maybe…cheap phones?” he suggest. Which means he’d have to have two, because he’d need one for Chat and one for Adrien. And then he has his real phone. Which makes…three phones. That might be too complicated.

Ladybug tugs on a pigtail. “That might work…” She stares out his window and off into the distance, a look of concentration on her face that he usually only sees when she’s trying to figure out Lucky Charm.

“I’ll think about it,” Adrien says. He doesn’t have much of a choice, he has to think of something for Marinette too.

He can’t believe his life actually got _more_ complicated than living a double life.

“What do you like to do?” he asks suddenly. Ladybug looks over to him in surprise. “I— If we’re dating, maybe we should…know some things about each other?” Her eyes go wide and he knows she’s about to protest. Because he _does_ know her. “Nothing too personal! Just…little things. I don’t what to know your identity, I just want to know…you.”

Ladybug smiles at him, soft and gentle, like it’s one of her and Chat’s patrols and they’re on top of the world and the only people in the universe. The butterflies in Adrien’s stomach burst into flight. He never thought she’d look at _him_ like that.

“I…like to draw,” she says. “Clothes. Fashion.”

“You like fashion?” he asks. That’s something he actually knows about.

She nods. “You?”

“Video games. Can’t exactly make a career out of it, but I like to play them.”

Ladybug turns to face him more, leaning against the back of the couch. “But does that matter if you enjoy it?”

“Probably not,” Adrien admits. “My father would probably like me to play less video games and practice more…anything.”

“Like what?”

“Piano is a big one right now. But I could also be practicing—” He glances over to her. She smiles at him to continue. “Chinese, martial arts, fencing… I don’t know, _posing_.”

She covers her mouth with a hand to stifle a laugh.

“I have to get better at my ‘spaghetti expression’.”

Ladybug shakes her head. “What does that mean?”

Adrien shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“Okay um…” She tucks her leg under her, making herself more comfortable on the couch. “Favorite tv show?”

Adrien answers quickly. Easy answer. He doesn’t know how long they throw random questions back and forth. Her favorite drink is hot chocolate and she doesn’t like wearing perfume. Her least favorite number is four and she once burnt soup. He only notices the time when the sun starts rising.

Ladybug watches the sunrise with a soft gaze. “You have a beautiful view.”

“Yeah,” he murmurs, pulling his gaze away from her. “I’m usually not up early enough to see it though.”

“Maybe sometime I’ll come at a normal time,” Ladybug says.

“You’ll miss the sunrise.”

She sighs. “Yeah.” Her hand rests on her yo-yo. “I should…probably go.”

They stand at the same time, the distance between them seeming so much larger now that they’re not sitting down. Adrien looks away first and Ladybug moves to the window.

“Sorry about the pictures,” she says softly.

Adrien reaches past her to grab onto the window. “Don’t be. I probably should’ve expected it.”

She gives him a half smile. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you then,” he whispers as she leaps away. He stays by the window, letting in the soft morning breeze.

As she vanishes from sight and the butterflies in his stomach settle, only one thought is clear.

Well. Shit.

* * *

Marinette stands next to Alya, tapping her foot as Alya brings up the post. Alya hands her the phone. There it is. Dark and slightly blurry, but it’s there. She reads and rereads the comment that Alya’s added, “plot twist?”, and her tags. Nothing more than her usual organizational tags. No mention of who the girl in the picture is.

Marinette gives herself ten seconds of peace.

“Good?” Alya asks.

Marinette nods, her thumb hovering over the post button. She starts to do it herself, but panics and shoves the phone back to Alya. Then she walks away and crouches behind their bushes.

“You okay?” Nino asks.

Marinette buries her face in her hands and groans. No. She’s not. She’s going to scream. This is such a goddamn _mess_.

“Here,” Alya says, probably showing him the photo.

“ _Dude_ ,” Nino says softly. “When did that happen?”

“Three weeks ago,” Marinette mumbles into her hands. Nino joins her on the ground. “And now everyone is going to _know_.”

“I didn’t have to post it,” Alya reminds her. “Adrien!” she shouts. Marinette looks up to see her waving Adrien down.

Yikes. She hadn’t figured out how to act normally around him yet. She was too busy panicking about the picture.

Marinette pulls on her pigtails. “If you didn’t, someone else could’ve? I don’t _knooooow_.”

Nino pats her back. “Hey, we’ve got you, Mar. Any mad fans will have to go through the three of us.”

“What happened?” Adrien asks. Alya takes his arm and pulls him to the ground behind the bushes. “And when did this become our meeting spot?”

Alya hands him her phone. “You aren’t the only one dating one of Paris’ heroes.”

Adrien’s eyes widen as he looks at the picture, glancing up at Marinette. She feels her face grow hot and sinks in on herself, raising her shoulders and ducking her head.

This is going to be a _really_ long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the rest is coming at some point??????? ahhhHHHHH


	4. of monocles and markers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one actually thought it would go this badly, let's be honest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually meant to post this yesterday but I was just...too mad. I was really mad. So many levels of upset and pissed. I'm not going to go into any details but......I've spent so much of the past 3 days angry. 
> 
> Shoutout to the ml net and mlfanfiction and a bunch of others for listening to me yell. And also a mega shoutout to [reyxa](http://reyxa.tumblr.com) for listening to me scream for literally 3 hours. Friends who stay up until 2:30 am screaming together stay together. 
> 
> Also I can't believe how many people didn't think I would write more Marichat. This is an equal opportunity fic for these ships. Of course there's Marichat
> 
> Also peggdaniels made this [awesome gifset](http://sadrien.tumblr.com/post/149241587473/peggdaniels-ml-fandom-week-day-7-free-for) for mlfandomweek!!!! It's so cool!
> 
> Enjoy!

Adrien looks back down to the picture. He…doesn’t remember this happening? When did Marinette put her hand on his cheek? “Uh…” He’s not exactly sure what the socially acceptable response to this is. “Congratulations?”

Marinette turns bright red and buries her face in her hands.

Nino rubs her back. “It’s going to be okay, dude.”

Adrien reads the comment before clicking on the notes. He can already see some not so great reblogs. “When did you post this?” he asks.

Alya shrugs. “Two minutes ago?”

Yikes.

“That’s…um…” He hands her back her phone, leaving one of the comments up.

Alya makes a face. He suspects his face looks similar.

Marinette just whimpers.

His heart jumps. This is not what he wanted. At all, in any way. He fucked up, and he should’ve owned up to it. Making Marinette uncomfortable and throwing her into a social spotlight that she did not want to be in any way— that wasn’t okay. He should’ve been a better friend than that. He has to find some way to fix this.

“You okay?” Alya asks, reaching out and putting a hand on Marinette’s shoulder.

Marinette takes a deep breath and looks up. “I’m fine,” she says. Her voice is a little higher than usual and her face is still red, but she looks calm. “Just…stressed.”

“I know the feeling,” Adrien murmurs.

Alya gasps. “You _do_! Perfect.” She grabs Adrien’s hand and puts it in Marinette’s. “You two are now best friends.” 

Nino shakes his head. He seems to have caught onto Alya’s plan faster than Adrien.

Marinette stares at their hands. “Uh…?”

“I mean, _obviously_ , I am still your best best friend,” Alya clarifies. “But come on, doesn’t it make sense for you two to be in this together? It’s kind of the same situation. And you’re already friends so it’s not that much of a stretch.” She stands up and brushes her hands off on her jeans. “Mar, I would guess the end of the day,” she says softly. “You sure you’re okay?”

Adrien squeezes her hand.

“N-no. But… I’ll be fine.” Marinette stands up, pulling Adrien with her. “It can’t be any worse than telling my parents.”

Nino slings his backpack over his shoulder. “Yikes. How’d that go for you, dude?”

The three of them turn to look at Adrien. He feels the blood drain from his face. “Uh…”

“That doesn’t sound good,” Alya mutters.

“My dad…doesn’t know?” He winces.

Nino adjusts his hat. “Oh shit.”   

“I-I’ll tell him later,” Adrien says quickly. “He’s just not home right now and I don’t really want to do that…over…the phone…”   

“What about Nat?” Nino asks.

Adrien makes a face. “She knows.”

Nino lets out a low whistle.

“We can talk about your inevitable death later, but we’re going to be late for class,” Alya announces, dragging Nino out of the bushes.

Adrien looks down at Marinette’s hand in his own. “You ready?”

She takes a shaky breath. “Can’t be that bad, right?”

Adrien feels eyes on them the second they step out from the bushes and onto the sidewalk. He thinks — he _hopes_ — they’re looking at him.

Marinette quickly drops his hand. She hunches her shoulders and clutches her book to her chest. “I don’t want to be late,” she mumbles, almost sprinting up the steps.

Adrien runs his hand through his hair.

This was a mistake.

* * *

It feels like everyone’s watching her. By the time lunch break rolls around, she _knows_ everyone is.

Marinette feels almost bad about being so embarrassed about it. It’s not that she’s embarrassed of Chat, although she thinks she might be coming off like that and that’s not what she wants, it’s just… She doesn’t know. There’s something embarrassing and awkward about having your relationship plastered all over the internet. ‘Relationship’. Whatever.

She puts everything away very slowly as Alya whips out her phone and frantically surfs the internet. The teacher has left, but no one else has. They’re all just _sitting there_.

Fuuuuuuuuuck.

Alya sighs. “Yup. Trending.”

Marinette drops her head down on her desk with a groan.

“So Marinette,” Marinette turns her head to see Chloé resting her chin in her hands with a smirk, “since when do _you_ have a thing for _Chat Noir_ ?” The bite in her voice hurts. If this all falls apart because of _Chloé_ , Marinette thinks she might actually kill her.

“Yeah,” Rose says suddenly. “I thought you liked A—”

Juleka elbows her.

Yesterday, no one left Adrien alone until he offered up some information. Something for them to gossip about. Adrien glances back at Marinette, giving her a half smile. Okay. She can do this.

“We’ve been, uh, dating. For three weeks.” She tries not to cringe. Good enough.

“GET IT!” Alix shouts. She pumps her fist in the air.

Kim stands up. “I want food.”

“Is this not entertaining enough?” Marinette mutters.

Kim ruffles Adrien’s hair with one hand and offers a fist to Marinette. She fist bumps him hesitantly. “GET IT!” he yells, louder than Alix had, before sprinting out of the room.

Adrien smooths his hair down with a scowl as the rest of the class bursts into chatter.

Marinette sinks down into her seat. She catches her name in far too many conversations for her liking. “Can we go?” she whispers to Alya.

Alya grabs her bag and gets up. “Already gone, girl.”

* * *

Adrien manages to hide in a café for lunch with Nino. He spots no less than eight tabloids with some sort of headline about him or Ladybug or Chat Noir on the way there.

“Dude, this is fucking _wild_ ,” Nino says as Adrien picks at his lunch.

Adrien hums in agreement.

“Didn’t expect Mar to end up with Chat,” Nino admits.

Adrien frowns. “Why not?”

Nino gives him a look.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s just a surprise. I only thought they talked like twice. Al found out last night and honestly I’m surprised she didn’t call me screaming.”

Adrien laughs. “Okay, yeah. I can see that happening.”

“So Nat knows?” Nino asks after a moment.

Adrien sighs. “She didn’t…outright say she did? But she gave me a look when I got home that was like ‘we’ll talk later’ and—” He shudders. “She _definitely_ knows.”

“You, my man, are between a rock and a hard place. Good luck.”

They both glance to their phones as they vibrate simultaneously. “Alya,” they say.  

 **From: Alya / the babe with the power  
** **To: my main man / sunshine, the best bro / bae (biggest annoyance ever <3)  
**      ayo  
     hope u nerds got a plan for after school  
     cause marichat™ just blew up

_**Alya / the babe with the power has changed the name of this conversation to ‘¾ of the squad’.** _

**From: the best bro / bae (biggest annoyance ever <3)  
** **To: ¾ of the squad  
**      do we want to know????

Alya sends a few links followed by “probably not”.

Adrien clicks the first and scowls as he reads it.

Nino just puts his phone down. “Why are people awful.”

“Why weren’t they like that with me?” Adrien mutters.

“Uh, try this dude. You’re a famous white guy. Mari is just some random girl.” Nino shrugs. “It fucking sucks but so does humanity. People are going to be shitty to her about this. You get a pass because people like you as much as they like Ladybug. And Mari doesn’t get one because… Yeah. Because people suck.”

“Tell me about it.” Adrien closes the link. He doesn’t need to see that. Ever again. And he needs a plan for later. He understands how awkward this must be for Marinette. He needs to apologize. And ‘break up’ if she’s as uncomfortable with all this as she seems. Her being uncomfortable is the last thing he wants.

 **From: Alya / the babe with the power  
** **To: ¾ of the squad  
**      current plan  
     sleepover and movies this weekend bc i cant 2nite  
     burn every tabloid ever  
     delete the majority of the internet

 **From: the best bro / bae (biggest annoyance ever <3)  
** **To: ¾ of the squad  
**      down with that

 **From: Alya / the babe with the power  
** **To: ¾ of the squad  
**      would u 2 b willing 2 provide random emotional support this weekend?

 **From: my main man / sunshine  
** **To: ¾ of the squad  
**       Of course

 **From: Alya / the babe with the power  
** **To: ¾ of the squad  
**      sweet  
     see u back at school nerds  
     and bring chocolate if u can

 **From: my main man / sunshine  
** **To: ¾ of the squad  
**      For Mari?

 **From: Alya / the babe with the power  
** **To: ¾ of the squad  
**      nah  
     i just want chocolate  
      <3

Nino rolls his eyes.

“So do you want to buy the chocolate or should I?” Adrien asks.

“I know what kind she likes but I’ll pay you back later. I’ve currently got a twenty cent euro to my name.”

“You don’t have to pay me back,” Adrien protests.

“I can buy my girlfriend chocolate,” Nino says.

“And I can buy one of my best friends chocolate,” Adrien counters.

Nino narrows his eyes. “Fifty-fifty?” He offers Adrien his hand.

Adrien shakes it. “Deal.”

“Awesome. Let’s go buy a ridiculous amount of chocolate, cause I think Mari might need some too.”

* * *

Marinette looks up as something is placed on the desk between her and Alya. She’s been frantically scribbling in her sketchbook, trying to get all these weird emotions out of her so she can concentrate in class. She’s produced some… _interesting_ designs. That could maybe be good?

Alya snatches the chocolate bar up and leans forward, pressing a kiss to the top of Nino’s head. “You two are the _best_ ,” she says, ruffling Adrien’s hair.

Adrien twists around and holds a chocolate bar out to Marinette. “In case you wanted some too.” He gives her a lopsided smile.  

Her heart attempts a backflip. “T-thanks.”

Despite her best efforts, she doesn’t retain anything from class. She just sees tweets and comments and posts swirling around in her mind in a vicious cycle. It kind of makes her want to throw up. She’s just glad she got through the day with minor teasing from her classmates.

She thinks she might get away somewhat scotch free until she steps out of the school and has several cameras shoved in her face.

She stares into one of the lenses with wide, horrified eyes, unable to move as people shout and shove to get to the front. Someone grabs her by the arm and yanks her back inside. They pull her behind the doors and against the wall.

She finds herself staring into springtime green eyes. “ _Oh_.”

Adrien gives her a sympathetic smile. “You looked a little overwhelmed.”

“Ahaha.” Marinette leans around Adrien to see the edge of the crowd of people, her face hot. “O-overwhelmed? Uh, yeah. You could say that.”

He puts a hand on her shoulder and looks around the hallway. “We need to get out of here…” he murmurs. His eyes light up. “I’ve got it. Come on.”

It takes all her control to keep from looking back at the cameras.

* * *

“We need your help.”

Chloé slams her locker shut. “With?” she asks, scrolling through her phone. She glances up at them and sneers a little at Marinette.

Adrien sighs. Really? Now? “Cameras. _Please_?”

Chloé lowers her phone and tosses her hair over her shoulder. “Fine. But _only_ because you asked nicely, Adri,” she says, poking his chest. She’s scowling, but he sees the slight softness in her eyes.

“Thanks, Chlo.” Adrien would handle the cameras himself, but they also want pictures of him and that makes this slightly problematic.

Chloé marches out of the locker room, not bothering to wait for them.

“Just follow me,” Adrien whispers to Marinette, making sure he’s standing in front of her. He follows Chloé to the front doors, taking a deep breath before stepping out in the sunlight.

Chloé brings out her camera personality, taking up as much space as possible and letting Marinette hide behind her. Adrien ducks his head and makes sure not to look into any cameras, gently pushing away microphones that are shoved in his face. Chloé talks loudly and proudly about herself and her father, shamelessly shoving reporters out of the way. She elbows someone who’s blocking the door to the limo and throws Marinette inside before Adrien. Chloé slides inside and slams the door, shutting out the noise of the reporters.

“I think that went well,” she says with a smirk.

Marinette stares at her with large eyes. She looks pale and like she might fall over if she weren’t sitting down already.

“Let me out at the next side street,” Chloé orders the Gorilla.

He grunts in conformation.

Adrien sags against the seat. He hates tabloids. “Thank you.”

Chloé shrugs a shoulder. “Whatever,” she says with a flick of her wrist. “Just figure out how to handle this yourself, because I’m not doing it until you break up with your heroes. Because they will _never_ leave you alone.” She stares down Marinette.

Marinette drops her eyes to the floor.

Adrien thinks this is probably the first time Marinette has ever backed down from Chloé. He can’t blame her. Today has been a lot.

The Gorilla pulls up to the sidewalk and Chloé leaves, blowing Adrien a kiss and making him promise to call her later. Once she’s gone, Marinette deflates even more.

“Oh my god,” she whispers, pressing a hand to her forehead.

Adrien laughs nervously. He’s nervous around her, why is he nervous? “Tell me about it.”

“I didn’t—” She groans and covers her face. “How do you do it?” she asks, her voice muffled.

“Uh…” Does he say that this was probably part of the reason he was isolated for so much of his life? That this is why he has a huge and scary — but secretly soft — bodyguard who chauffeurs him around? Why there’s a ‘secretary’ who doubles as PR and has a tight grip over social media? “To be fair, it’s not usually this bad for me.” Or ever. He will _never_ get comments like she does. “I’m used to some of it.”

Marinette sighs and looks up. “Thanks for saving me.”

The wheels in Adrien’s brain are whirling as fast as they can. Just to find some way to make this up to her. “No problem.”

He spots another tabloid after they’ve dropped Marinette off. A lightbulb goes off in his mind.

It’s ridiculous. But it works.

* * *

Marinette spends the day actually being productive. Plot twist.

She hides her phone under her pillow and unplugs her computer. She puts bins on top of her trapdoor, she doesn’t want to see anyone. If her parents need to talk to her, she’ll let them in. Other than that, she’s grabbed a shit ton of chips and snacks and is ready to die alone in her room.

She saw a few things on Twitter over Alya’s shoulder, and basically, she never wants to touch social media ever again.

Once she’s finished all her homework, early for once, and spent a few hours sketching and finished the shirt she’d been making, she plugs her computer back in. She starts it up and puts on old episodes of Project Runway. As long as her screen is filled with fashion and drama, she can’t see any posts. She’s complaining to the screen about someone stapling their model into a dress when she hears a knock at her trap door.

She groans. She doesn’t want to move, but most people don’t try to enter the house through the balcony. Which can only mean one thing.

A certain cat has stopped by to bug her. Usually she’d be pretty happy to see him, but today has been rough. She opens the trapdoor with a sigh, tugging a sweater on as she climbs onto her balcony.

Marinette isn’t exactly sure what she was expecting, but it wasn’t Chat with two plastic bags filled with magazines. “Uh…hi?”

“Hey, princess.” He hops down from her balcony railing. “I come bearing gifts.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Gifts?”

He dumps out one of the bags. The glossy cover of the tabloid has ‘LADYBUG TAKEN?!?!’ written in large, red font. The picture of her sitting on Adrien’s windowsill has been blown up and photoshopped to be clearer. “I also have markers.”  

Marinette frowns. “For?”

“What better way to get out your frustrations at the media than drawing all over their glossy pictures?” Chat drops to the ground and pulls out a pack of colorful sharpies. He uncaps a red sharpie and doodles hearts in Adrien’s eyes. “I promise it’s therapeutic.”

Marinette sighs and sits down next to him. She chooses a black sharpie and picks up a magazine. It’s lighter than what she expected for something that’s been weighing down on her all day. “So how was your day?” she asks, mocking cheerfulness.

“Stressful,” Chat admits. “I gave my phone to my friend so I wouldn’t have to—” He glances up at her. “You know.”

Marinette makes a face and starts drawing on a drawing of Ladybug that takes up the entire page. She starts drawing a dramatic evening gown on her because why not. “Yeah. I know.”

Chat draws a long beard on Adrien. “Honestly, Twitter kind of scares me.”

“You are preaching to the choir,” she murmurs.

“Oh I forgot, I have something else for you.”

Marinette looks up to see Chat holding out a few chocolate bars to her. “W-what? Why’d you get me chocolate?”

Chat rubs the back of his neck. “It’s ‘sorry I’m such a shitty fake boyfriend’ chocolate. I wanted to say sorry.”

Marinette slowly takes the chocolate from him. “Okay…? Why are you sorry?”

“I didn’t…realize how bad this was going to get for you. And if you’re uncomfortable with it, we can fake break up. I don’t mind.”

She stares at him for a moment before unwrapping one of the chocolate bars. She definitely didn’t see this happening tonight. “What about Ladybug?”

He shrugs. “Doesn’t really matter? I mean, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable with this. You are doing it as a favor for me. And now you’re getting attacked on the internet.”  

Yeah and it makes her feel like she’s dying a little bit. She breaks off a piece of chocolate. “I mean… It’s not fun, but it’s not like I’m embarrassed of you or anything,” she mutters. “I kind of think I might’ve acted like that today.”

Chat tilts his head. “I didn’t— I-I just don’t want… I mean, I only saw a few comments. And I’m…not the one they’re directed at?”

Marinette hands Chat a square of chocolate. “Kind of seems like the quitter’s way out, doesn’t it?”

Chat takes the chocolate with a snort. “Okay, sure. I guess that’s one way to put it.”

She pops a piece of chocolate in her mouth and goes back to designing this pointless evening gown. “I just… Okay, so today I asked Adrien how he does it, and he just said he gets used to it. And I feel like if we fake broke up now, it might actually be worse? Like me not being able handle the limelight or something,” she grumbles. “Maybe if we wait it out until it dies down it’ll be better.” She scraps her evening dress mid stroke and makes it a princess dress. Puffy sleeves for the win. “Shit, I don’t know. I want to sleep for a year.”

Chat hums. “I guess that makes sense. But if you ever want to stop, you’ll tell me, right?”

Marinette meets his eyes and is thrown off by how green they are, although she sees them all the time. “Yeah. Of course.”

He nods and goes back to doodling. He’s currently giving Adrien a top hat. “Alright, princess. We probably need a better way to communicate.”

“Probably,” she admits. Going through Ladybug isn’t going to work all the time. It’s been in the back of her mind all day. Burner phones _could_ work, except juggling three phones sounds _terrifying_. “Email?”

Chat taps his sharpie against his chin. “That sounds the easiest?” He leans forward to see what Marinette’s drawing. “Ooooooo.”

“What, this?” She spins the magazine around. “Princess Ladybug.” She’s finished outlining the dress and has been scribbling in with red.

“Do Adrien next,” Chat says. He grabs another magazine and finds a full page picture of Adrien. Marinette recognizes the shoot it’s from.

“In a princess dress?”

“Everyone is a princess, princess.” Chat says seriously.

“Are you a princess?” she asks with raised eyebrows.

“Yes,” he says immediately.

She snorts.

“Come on, I could rock a little black dress.”

“That’s not a princess dress,” Marinette points out.

“First of all, every dress is a princess dress. Second, I could rock _any_ dress,” Chat corrects.

She rolls her eyes. “Okay, you color in this, I’ll make Adrien a princess.” She takes the magazine from Chat and gives him the sharpie. She draws a tiara on Adrien before starting on the dress.

Chat hums softly as they color. He’s right, there is something calming about drawing all over pictures in tabloids. She’ll have to get some tomorrow when her face, not Ladybug’s, is plastered over all over them.

“Tell me about yourself,” Chat says as he moves back to drawing on a picture of Adrien. He gives Adrien a monocle before giving himself whiskers. “In case Ladybug quizzes me or something.”

Marinette stifles a laugh. “Okay, um… What do you want to know?”

“Favorite color?”

“Pink.”

“Light yellow. Dream job?”

She gestures to the magazines. “Fashion designer.”

He nods. “You could do it.”

Marinette gives him a curious look. “What about you?”

He shrugs. “Whatever my dad tells me to do probably. I don’t…really think about it.”

“That’s…”

“My life?” Chat flips the page. He doodles a few hearts around Ladybug. Marinette can’t help but wonder if he does because of how he feels or just because it’s the first thing that comes to mind. “I don’t mind.”

“Hm.”

He studies the page he’s drawing on for a second. “You have a crush on someone,” he says.

Marinette feels her face turn pink. “Yeah well, so do you.”

He stares her in the eyes and draws another heart. “So who do you _liiiiiiiiike_?”

“None of your fucking business.”

Chat moves to lay on his stomach. “Why not? You know I like Ladybug. And isn’t part of a healthy relationship _communication_?”

“We’re _fake dating_.”

“It’s still a _relationship_.”

Marinette groans. “It’s… You can’t laugh.”

Chat draws an ‘x’ over his heart. “Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.”

“IlikeAdrienAgreste,” she says quickly, ducking her head bending over her magazine. Her eyes fall on the picture of Adrien and she flips the page. She looks up when Chat doesn’t laugh. Or say anything. Or even make a sound.

He looks…surprised.

“You’re judging me,” she mutters.

“I— I-I’m not judging you,” Chat stutters. “I was just… Kind of funny.” His eyes widen when Marinette glares at him. “N-not your crush! Just that the people we both like are dating each other. It’s…funny.”

Yeah. Hilarious. That she’s fake dating a boy who actually likes her and a boy who likes a different her. This whole situation. So funny.

“It’s fucking sad,” Marinette says. “Kind of pathetic.” This whole _situation_ is pathetic.

Chat shrugs and gives himself and Ladybug neon pink sunglasses. “I don’t know, we’ve got chocolate and sharpies, so who are the real winners here?”

She takes another piece of chocolate. “I’m guessing the paparazzi that took these pictures.”

Chat snorts. “Okay. Fine.” He smiles up at her. “Not us.”

Marinette shakes her head. “Absolutely not us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a PSA: don't romanticize abuse.


	5. panic! at the fake dating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> plot twist these kids are freaking out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so....been a while, huh? 
> 
> i just wanted to say that french paparazzi laws are totally different from this fic. they're actually incredibly strict, and the way the paparazzi in this fic act is more similar to the us, but still possibly kind of extreme? i probably should've googled that before using it as a plot point, but i didn't, and now it's a fairly major one, so i won't be going back and changing. i apologize for the inaccuracies! 
> 
> i dunno what's happening in here either. shoutout to rey for helping me with parts of this chapter and also thank you to everyone who hopped on when i was streaming! it was really fun and if people are interested, i'll probably do it again!
> 
> enjoy!

Adrien rests his forehead on the glass of his window and stares at the darkened city below him. He needs to move on with his life, but he can’t. Not yet. For now, he just needs to process this new information. 

Marinette has a crush on him. 

Fuck. 

Marinette is great. Adrien thinks she’s great. He likes her a lot. Of  _ course _ he does, he wouldn’t be planning to spend actual time fake dating her if he didn’t. But this— 

It is new information. And it adds a new layer of complexity to an already  _ way _ too complex situation. 

The universe is a dick. 

Plagg cackles. “Man can you imagine how much she’d freak out if she realized she was fake dating you? HA sounds like a soap opera!” 

Adrien groans and sits down on the floor. He needs some time to process this. If anything, he had been under the impression that Marinette was still uncomfortable around him because of the gum incident. The way she stuttered and got all blushy around him—

Oh. 

“How didn’t I notice before?” Adrien mumbles. He hits his head against the glass in frustration. 

“Careful there, you’re going to hurt yourself.” Plagg rests on the top of Adrien’s head and Adrien can feel him moving around his hair to make a nest. “And you didn’t notice because you were so caught up in  _ Ladybug _ .” 

Adrien sighs. “Now I feel bad.” 

“Hey it’s not your fault that you don’t feel the same way,” Plagg says. “And it’s not like she actually told you about her feelings or anything like that. It could be worse. She could’ve asked you out. And you could’ve not realized what she was doing. You guys are  _ hilarious _ to watch interact, I hope you know that.” 

Adrien’s eyes go wide. “Holy shit,” he whispers. 

“What?” 

“I tried to set her up with Nino! Oh my god.” Adrien buries his face in his hands. “God this is so awkward,” he says, his voice muffled. 

Plagg tugs on his hair. “ _ Hey _ , stop that. It won’t be awkward until  _ you _ make it awkward. Or  _ more _ awkward than it already is.”

“I’m just supposed to act like everything’s the same?”

“Duh. Did you forget you’re both dating superheroes? Or at least pretending to be? Now’s not the time to bring up her crush.” 

“You’re right,” Adrien admits. 

Plagg scoffs. “Of course I’m right. I’m always right.” 

“No you’re not.” 

“I am this time.” 

Adrien closes his eyes and breathes in the quietness of the house. He wishes he’d left a window open, just to feel the cool night air on his skin. It always keeps him calm and steady. His fingers are twitching to  _ do something _ . He has the strong urge to create a flowchart or something, just to organize all the thoughts that are flying through his brain. 

“Do you think she’ll come tonight?” he whispers. 

“How am I supposed to know, kid?” Plagg asks. 

Adrien shrugs. “You’re a god or something aren’t you?” 

“If I could predict the future, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Trust me.” 

Adrien laughs softly. “You’re ridiculous.” 

“Yeah, so are you,” Plagg counters. 

“No wonder we ended up together.” Adrien watches cars pass on the streets below him, small and and colorful, like toys. Everything is a game,  _ life _ is a game, he just doesn’t know how to play it. “Do you ever think—” 

“More than you do.” 

Adrien rolls his eyes. “Do you ever think about how things would be different if someone else had gotten the miraculous?” His fingers find his ring and run over the sharp corners of it. 

“Getting sentimental, are we?” Plagg teases. 

“You say that like I’m not  _ always  _ sentimental,” Adrien says with a scoff. 

“Alright well, you were always going to get the miraculous. Destiny and shit.” 

Adrien frowns. “You believe in that sort of stuff?” 

“I’ve lived a long time, kid,” Plagg says. “And the miraculous? There’s a reason for all of this stuff.” 

“Does ‘this stuff’ include a fake dating disaster?” 

Plagg snorts. “Definitely not. That’s your own fault, not the stars’. You made your bed, now you have to sleep in it.” 

Adrien hums thoughtfully. Plagg isn’t wrong. He  _ did _ get himself into this mess all on his own. He probably would’ve been better off just swallowing his pride and telling Ladybug he screwed up. But no, he’s here now and he has to deal with it. 

“I’m not good at this,” he murmurs, more to himself than to Plagg. 

“You’ll figure it out,” Plagg promises. 

“I will?” 

“Probably.” 

Adrien sighs. “Great.” 

“I’ll let you in on a secret,” Plagg says, patting Adrien’s head. “No one has any idea what they’re doing. Ever. People might have an inkling, but really, we’re all just winging it. Wing it until you fly.” 

Adrien blinks. “That’s…surprisingly deep and inspirational.” 

“Ew,” Plagg grumbles. “I take it back. Pretend you never heard me say that.” 

Adrien smiles and rolls his eyes. “Heard you say what? I heard nothing.”

“Good.”

There has to be something good to come out of this mess. Adrien isn’t sure what it’s going to be, but it can’t be  _ just _ a disaster. That’s statistically improbable. 

Probably. 

He finds himself listing the good, because otherwise, he’s never going to stop thinking about the negatives. 

  1. Getting to know Ladybug better. 
  2. Getting to know Marinette better. 
  3. He’ll finally find out how his dad feels about dating which…might not be a good thing, but at least they’ll finally have that conversation. 
  4. Spending more time with Ladybug outside of akuma fights and patrols. 
  5. Spending more time with Marinette alone, since before this, their only conversations were five minutes of stammering and he usually only hung out with her when with Nino or Alya. 
  6. ?????
  7. Profit



Adrien swears he was better at this optimism thing at some point. 

* * *

Marinette wakes up and stares at her ceiling for a very long time.

She’s kind of scared to check her phone. But she does anyway, because she can’t just lock herself in her room away from the world for the rest of the time. Although that sounds really nice right about now. 

The first thing she sees is a text from Alya, and her heart soars a little bit because she loves Alya and is so glad she has Alya standing by her in this. Even if Alya has no idea how convoluted this whole mess really is. It makes Marinette’s head spin a little bit, if she’s being honest. 

**From: the best™  
** **To: partner in (phone stealing) crime  
**      morning babe!!! <3  
     just a reminder that i love u a lot   
     ill see you at school w/ fists ready 2 fight off the haters and paps (ง'̀-'́)ง

**From: partner in (phone stealing) crime  
** **To: the best™  
**      Thanks al <3  
     Hows it looking??

**From: the best™  
** **To: partner in (phone stealing) crime  
**      :(  
     dont look   
     ily but dont do it ill give u a recap @ school k?

**From: partner in (phones stealing) crime  
** **To: the best™  
**      That….isnt encouraging   
     Alyaaaa D’:

**From: the best™  
** **To: partner in (phone stealing) crime  
**      im sorry :’(  
     but really   
     if u wanna look at stuff thats fine i just wanna be w/ u if u do   
     actually it doesnt have 2 b me i just want u 2 b w/ SOMEONE  
     theres some Bad Shit™  
     i dont want u 2 read it alone   
      itll either hurt u or ull hurt some1 else and as ur bff id like to avoid both of those things

Marinette sighs and puts her phone down on her stomach. She’ll respond to Alya in a minute or two, but for now she has to let herself imagine what kind of things people have said while she slept. She can definitely imagine. Imagining might be the worst possible thing she could be doing right now, but she has to wallow in her own thoughts for a little bit. People get death threats a lot on the internet, right? 

“Tikki?” she asks suddenly as she sits up, realizing that Tikki isn’t next to her on the bed. 

It takes a moment for Tikki to zip up to her bed. “Yes, Marinette?” Tikki asks with a cheerfulness that’s only a little bit forced. 

“Do you think this whole fake dating thing is a mistake?” 

Tikki blinks. “You know what I think about it,” she says after a long pause. “I think it’s overly complicated where it doesn’t have to be, and clearly it’s causing more harm than good. But if you’re happy—” 

Marinette gives her withering look. 

Tikki coos and nuzzles Marinette’s cheek. “You can stop whenever you want, Mari,” she reminds her softly. “If it’s not good for your mental health…”

Marinette sighs and looks down. “Yeah I just…I’m committed to this now. Or something like that. I don’t know.” She flops back on the bed. “I really didn’t think this through.” Her phone buzzes a few times on her stomach. “Is it important?” she mumbles. 

She feels Tikki flip her phone over and hum. “It’s from your group chat,” Tikki says. “From Nino.” 

Maybe it’s not super important, but it’s still probably something she should read. She picks up her phone and stares at the screen for a second before she processes any of the words. 

**From: ninope / the best bro / bae (biggest annoyance ever <3)  
** **To: what the happ is fuckening  
**      first of all our gc name is now almost ironically appropriate 

**From: the best™ /  Alya / the babe with the power  
** **To: what the happ is fuckening  
**      lmao 

**From: ninope / the best bro / bae (biggest annoyance ever <3)  
** **To: what the happ is fuckening  
**      second are we going out for lunch today or nah 

**From: Adrien / my main man / sunshine  
** **To: what the happ is fuckening  
**      Can we?   
     My dad is back in time for lunch and I want to stall

**From: the best™ /  Alya / the babe with the power  
** **To: what the happ is fuckening  
**      rip off the bandaid marsh

**From: Adrien / my main man / sunshine  
** **To: what the happ is fuckening  
     ** Yeaaaah no thanks

**From: Marinette / mari berry / partner in (phone stealing) crime  
** **To: what the happ is fuckening  
**      Can we hide in the bakery/my house  
     I dont wanna deal

**From: Adrien / my main man / sunshine  
** **To: what the happ is fuckening  
**      That sounds perfect 

**From: ninope / the best bro / bae (biggest annoyance ever <3)  
** **To: what the happ is fuckening  
**      thats cool with me my dudes  
     see you at school 

**From: the best™ /  Alya / the babe with the power  
** **To: what the happ is fuckening  
**      im stealing baked goods  
     also @marsh i already told mari but i got my fists and am Ready 2 Fite (ง'̀-'́)ง

**From: Adrien / my main man / sunshine  
** **To: what the happ is fuckening  
**      Please don’t actually fight anyone Al, but I appreciate the sentiment <3

**From: the best™ /  Alya / the babe with the power  
** **To: what the happ is fuckening  
**      booooo i wanna fight  
     but ok fine  
      see u nerds in a bit!!!

Marinette forces herself to get out of bed and get changed. She feels like a robot as she gets ready, putting on her makeup and doing her hair more out of habit than anything else. She thinks that her emotions may have shut down out of instinct to protect herself, because she’s pretty sure that below the blank emptiness there is pure terror. 

Yesterday, things had been bad. Now, people have had hours to digest the “Marichat” thing. On one hand, people could’ve calmed down. On the other, it’s had time to spread and people have had time to say things that are  _ significantly worse _ . 

She has a plan for telling her parents. And that plan is shouting out that she’s dating Chat Noir just as she runs out of the door for school and then sprinting away from her house so she doesn’t have to deal with it. 

Perfect. 

* * *

Adrien is surprised to find Alya and Nino standing in front of the steps of school instead of hiding out in the bushes. At least, he’s surprised until he steps out of the car and suddenly someone with a camera jumps out from the bushes and starts taking pictures.

Nino crams his hat on Adrien’s head as Alya grabs Adrien’s arm and drags him inside. Caught by surprise, Adrien is barely able to register what’s happening, let alone protest. Not that he would. He doesn’t want  _ another _ picture of his face all over the tabloids. Don’t they have enough pictures to use from photoshoots? 

“You could’ve warned me,” he mutters once they’ve hauled him inside. He hands Nino his hat back and smooths down his hair. 

“Sorry, dude,” Nino apologizes. “We were caught up in planning how to get you inside.” 

“I don’t think we succeeded,” Alya admits. “These guys are  _ vicious _ .” 

“They get paid to be,” Chloé snips from behind them. She studies her nails and leans against the wall. “They’re rats and it’s their job to be.”   
“What’s your excuse?” Alya asks. 

Chloé rolls her eyes. “Am I taking him off your hands or what, Césaire? Don’t you have a different friend you’re supposed to be watching for?” 

Alya’s eyes go wide. “Shit you’re right,” she mumbles. She pulls out her phone and sends off a quick text before dragging Nino back out into the fray. 

“Why am I getting handed off to you?” Adrien asks Chloé. 

“Babysitting duty,” Chloé says flatly. “I’m here to make sure you’re not being a dumbass.” 

“I can take care of myself,” Adrien promises. 

Chloé shrugs. “I know that. They both know that. But we also know you have a tendency to take what people say about you to heart, and—” she reaches over and plucks his phone from his hands, “we don’t want that.” 

He opens his mouth to protest before he gives in and leans against the wall next to her. “People aren’t really saying anything bad about  _ me _ .” 

“Just your relationship.” Chloé flips his phone over in her hands a few times. “Besides, there’s no doubt that you’ll feel bad about what they’re saying about  _ Marinette _ , despite the fact that none of that is within your control.” 

“Of course I feel bad about what they’re saying!” he says defensively. “She’s my friend, why wouldn’t—” 

Chloé gives him a look. 

Adrien sags against the wall. “What’s that for?” he grumbles, casting his eyes to the floor.

She crosses her arms. “Adrien Agreste, do not tell me you’re  _ that _ oblivious.” 

He winces. “I might be.” 

Chloé groans. “You aren’t serious.” 

“Someone may have had to spell it out for me,” he admits. 

“I hate you.” 

“Fair enough.” Honestly, Adrien kind of hates himself for not noticing too. It’s only fair someone else hates him for it. 

“ _ No _ .” Chloé slips his phone into her pocket and grabs his hands. “You are not allowed to hate yourself for not returning someone’s feelings,” she says seriously. “You are not allowed to hate yourself because you didn’t realize someone felt something that you didn’t. Got it?” 

Adrien stares at her. 

“ _ Got it? _ ” 

“Yes, mom,” he says, only realizing afterward how much those words sting both of them. 

Chloé scoffs and drops his hands. “If you try to check any social media I’m taking this back and locking you out,” she says before handing back his phone. 

“How would you lock me out?” Adrien asks, checking his notifications. He notices an email from Nathalie about lunch today and reminds himself to email her back with her plans before class starts. “I’ve never told you my password.”

Chloé smiles deviously. “I have my ways.” 

Adrien narrows his eyes at her. “I’m changing my password now,” he announces.

“I have my ways,” she repeats. 

“You know, between you and Alya, I’m starting to think that maybe I should just go back to writing letters and using carrier pigeons.” 

Chloé snorts. “That would just make our jobs easier,” she points out. “You can’t escape it, Adri. Nothing is unknowable.” 

He finds his thoughts going to Ladybug and brushes his fingers against his ring. “That’s what I’m worried about.” 

Chloé grabs Adrien by the arm and pulls him closer as Alya and Nino drag Marinette inside the school. Marinette glances back over her shoulder with wide eyes, face pale as she stares at the paparazzi behind her. 

“No damage done?” Alya asks Chloé. 

“I know what I’m doing,” Chloé snipes.

Marinette takes a shaky breath. “Holy shit,” she whispers, looking to Adrien with wide eyes. 

“You okay?” Nino asks, putting a hand on her shoulder. 

She nods quickly. “Yeah it’s just— It’s been a morning.” She glances toward the door and lowers her voice. “I told my parents I’m dating Chat.” 

Adrien notices Chloé’s eyebrows raise slightly as she leans the tiniest bit forward. She’d die before admitting that she’s interested in what Marinette has to say, so he’ll ask for her. “How’d it go?” 

“Um…” Marinette tugs on a pigtail. “I don’t know?” 

Alya frowns. “What do you mean?” 

“I sort of—” Marinette takes a deep breath. “Okay, so I was running out the door because I was late—”  

“Typical,” Nino murmurs. 

She flips him off as she continues her story. “And as I ran out the bakery I sort of just shouted ‘I’m dating Chat Noir bye!’ and left. So…” She meets Adrien’s eyes. “That happened.” 

Chloé snorts. “Sorry,” she apologizes when Marinette glares at her. “But that’s one way to handle the conversation. By not handling it.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder. “Hope they don’t google it.” 

Marinette goes pale. 

“Smooth, Chlo,” Adrien mutters. 

Chloé shrugs. “I wouldn’t google yourself either.” 

“Why were you googling Marinette?” Alya asks, eyes narrowed. 

Chloé hums and turns her attention to her phone, typing rapidly. “I’ll see you later, Adri,” she says, tapping him twice on the shoulder before walking away toward the locker room. 

Alya’s phone buzzes and she purses her lips as she reads the newest message. “Right,” she murmurs. “Anyway, I hope your parents are cool with this,” she says, wrapping Marinette in a tight hug.

Marinette sighs and sinks into the hug. “No promises,” she mumbles.

* * *

By the end of the school day, Marinette is just about ready to sleep for rest of time.

Of course, Hawk Moth doesn’t work like that. 

“You alright?” Tikki asks as she flies out of Marinette’s purse. 

Marinette sighs. “No, not really. I just want to curl up in my room and stop thinking and experiencing life for a while.” 

Tikki nuzzles her cheek. “We can do that after this, if you want.” 

“I’d love that,” Marinette admits. “Spots on, Tikki.” 

The transformation and magic washes over her, calming some of her anxiety and clearing her mind. She’s always able to think more clearly as Ladybug. Maybe that’s because she knows exactly who Ladybug is. She still has questions about Marinette. 

Ladybug swings up to the roof of a tall building to get a better look of the streets. The akuma had gotten away while she’d been finding a place to hide and transform, and its trail of destruction is more minimal than most. 

She squints in the sunlit as she looks around Paris. She finds a sign of the akuma, a car crash, and after checking to make sure the civilians are all safe and able to get out of their cars, she follows the akuma’s path from above the streets. 

Ladybug’s breath catches in her throat as she sees Adrien duck into an alley, the akuma on his heels. 

“Shit,” she whispers. She didn’t really  _ want _ to be making appearances with Adrien as Ladybug, but like hell she was going to leave him cornered. 

Ladybug swings down into the alley, wrapping her arm tightly around Adrien’s waist as she swings by. 

Adrien yelps and throws his arms around her neck, burying his face against her shoulder. 

“S-sorry!” she shouts, landing them on a roof. “The akuma—” 

“It’s fine!” Adrien says quickly. “You were doing your job. Saving my life.” He glances over the edge of the building before stepping back, and  _ closer _ , to Ladybug. “Thank you for that, by the way.” 

“Of course. Doing my job,” Ladybug says. That was all. Nothing more. Of course.

“Uh…so how do I get down?” Adrien asks. 

Ladybug hesitates. “I can set you down somewhere safe,” she says after a moment. “If you’re okay with that?” 

Adrien nods and puts his arms around her neck carefully. “Is this okay?” 

Ladybug swallows and tries not to think about how close they are. She can scream to Tikki later. “Yup, it’s fine. Hold on tight.” 

Adrien clutches onto her tighter as she leaps from the building. She’s more careful with her swings than usual. Even when she has to swing Chat around the city she’s not this careful. Chat always lands on his feet, and he has the bonus of a protective suit. 

Adrien has neither of those going for him and that’s kind of terrifying. 

She moves away from the akuma, landing as lightly as she can in the first clear street. She makes sure that Adrien’s feet are firmly on the ground before she loosens her grip on his waist. “Are you alright?” she asks. 

Adrien nods before his eyes go wide. He whispers, “People are watching,” and presses a quick kiss to her cheek. 

Ladybug tenses, her cheeks heating up. She can see the people Adrien mentioned out of the corner of her eye, phones and cameras raised, all catching the moment. 

More news for the tabloids. Joy. 

She jumps away from Adrien as there’s a large crash somewhere a few streets over. Car alarms start blaring and she gives him an apologetic. “I, uh, I have to…” She motions toward the akuma hopelessly. 

Adrien nods. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll find somewhere safe.” He chews on his lip and glances at his feet. “I’ll see you later?” 

Ladybug is barely able to nod, screaming to herself as she throws her yoyo and swings off to the akuma attack. Chat arrives on the scene only a few minutes after her, panting and apologizing for being late, saying that he got caught up in something on the way. Ladybug just nods and focuses on not grabbing him by the should and screaming that Adrien Agreste kissed her! Her cheek. But still! His lips  _ touched her skin _ . 

She would’ve forgotten the fist bump at the end of the fight if Chat hadn’t raised his fist first. She gives him a small smile as she bumps their fists together before she breaks off in a spring and swings off. 

The moment she’s detransformed and in her bedroom, Marinette presses a pillow to her face and screams. 

“Are you okay, Mari?” Tikki asks nervously. 

Marinette lifts her head from the pillow. “Yeah I’m good,” she says before burying her face in the pillow again and continuing to scream. 

Adrien Agreste is going to be the absolute death of her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my chapter titles are top notch 
> 
> also!! ive got a [tumblr](http://sadrien.tumblr.com/tagged/my-fics) if you're interested in seeing more of my stuff or supporting me! <3

**Author's Note:**

> here we go. on this wild ride. together. (help)
> 
> i'm on [tumblr](http://sadrien.tumblr.com/tagged/my-fics) if you wanna bug me about this :)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Fake Dating Squared](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9557159) by [AmelineAmira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmelineAmira/pseuds/AmelineAmira)




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